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File: Houkago Nijigenme!.jpg -(273871 B, 1350x1920) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
273871 No.20882  

RAW: http://www.mediafire.com/file/38cf5ag888qhmv8

>> No.20883  

Well, this looks pretty neat. Same person who drew Scandal. If a translation comes around, I'll edit.

>> No.21064  

Read a bit of this and it seems pretty funny. I'll translate if you're still interested in editing.

>> No.21065  

>>21064

Of course.

>> No.21076  

Okay, I'll have chapter 1 done pretty soon.

>> No.21077  

>>21076

Looking forward to it.

>> No.21082  
File: Houkago Nijigenme Chapter 1 Translation.txt -(30842 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 1.

>> No.21083  

>>21082

http://www.mediafire.com/file/3hs776dgj76w1jk/Battle1_inQC_v1.zip

There are sfx on page 5 and 18 that went untranslated. I didn't add any of the notes, but if you feel that any should be included, then I can put them in.

This story is hilarious, and I love it so much already.

>> No.21084  
File: houkago_ch1_qc1_comments.txt -(3608 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here are some comments on the text and the editing.

>> No.21085  

>>21084

Thanks for the check. I applied your changes, for my part at least.

> Aoi, sit! (Is there a reason this is emboldened?)

I honestly can't remember why I made this bold. Oh well, I unbolded it.

> 12.png:
> Panel 3: Ookubo's nametag is untranslated

Did you want to me to put in her name on the nametag in every instance that it is shown or just that panel?

On page 17, last panel, did you want the second hyphen to be an emdash?

>> No.21086  

>>21085

On page 12, the only panel her nametag appears in is panel three. On page 11, it appears in panels 3, 5, and 6. In my opinion, if you translate it once, you should translate it every time, so I think you should translate it in each of those instances. I don't think it appears in any other instances (that aren't already translated).

On page seventeen, I did want the second hyphen in the last panel to be converted to an emdash. The example I provided should be an accurate representation of the hyphen/emdash combination I think is appropriate.

>> No.21087  

>>21086

To be honest, I had no idea what to do with にじげんめ

At first to me, it looks like に時限目 - thus "after school time".
I saw 二次元 as well, and figured it might be a pun, but one that doesn't translate at all, (and I have no idea what the め would be doing if this were the case). If you have a suggestion on how to handle the title translation, I'd be glad to hear it.

I translate 巨乳 and 貧乳 differently to give some variety. There's no defined 1-to-1 correspondence of phrases here, and I feel that it's better to change them sometimes than to repeat the same wording over and over again, which sounds unnatural in English.

On page 11, I think it should be "My breast swells" - she's using the phrase metaphorically, and the English equivalent tends to use "breast" as a singular noun (eg my breast swelled with pride)

>> No.21088  

>>21087

Oh, dang, I didn't see the 時限目 at all. Because it's about a bunch of girls sitting around debating moé, which is typically considered a 2D topic, the idea of the "second dimension" seemed so obvious I didn't examine any alternatives. Given this, I think "After School Time" is justifiable.

In general, I agree that there isn't a need to match a word or phrase 1-to-1 in every instance ("A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds"); in this case, because the terms were used to define the two sides of the debate, I think it would make sense if you wanted to standardize them at least in this chapter. But there's never any doubt that "tiny breasts" and a "flat chest" are any different, so I agree it mostly boils down to a matter of taste, and we don't really need to change anything if you don't want to.

>> No.21090  
> On page seventeen, I did want the second hyphen in the last panel to be converted to an emdash. The example I provided should be an accurate representation of the hyphen/emdash combination I think is appropriate.

Oh, my bad. I missed that before. But I got it now.

Okay, so here's what it looks like so far.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/3j0ycam3jjn70y5/Battle1_inQC_v2.zip

I applied Multiball's comments, fixed the name tag, changed the "breast swells" phrase, and made some of the text smaller. If you think any of the text should be even smaller, then just say so and I'll change it. I didn't do anything with the untranslated SFX because I was not yet given a translation.

>> No.21091  

>>21087

>I saw 二次元 as well, and figured it might be a pun, but one that doesn't translate at all, (and I have no idea what the め would be doing if this were the case).

I think it's 二次元め like "Cursed 2D Characters" or "Cursed 2D World" with め (奴) the derogatory suffix as edict calls it. Example from edict: この田舎者めが。 You clown you. (You country bumpkin)

There seem to be only 3 examples on google and they're about 2D in general (I'll list them below) while I feel the title is self-depreciating like "Ugh it's some of THESE guys" instead of "The characters are vexed because they want 2D to be real".

http://apocalypse135.blog78.fc2.com/blog-date-20150927.html
The author is comparing the weight and height of characters from a manga or anime.

>でもみんな平均体重より5kg~10kgほどマイナスです。…二次元めぇ…っ!!(ギリリ)

But they're all 5 to 10 kg below the average weight. Cursed 2D world! (grinding teeth)

http://chocolatecake18.blog56.fc2.com/
The author is pining for the character she drew.

>雲雀さんと夏祭り行きたいです…くそおおお二次元めえええええ

I wanna go with Hibari-san to a summer festival... Damn it, cursed 2D world.

http://happyrainbow2.jugem.jp/?eid=223
The author cries from manga and anime.

>freeも録画観てみんなかわいくて泣いてしまうし、凪あすも切なくて泣くし、もー!!!二次元め…!!好き!!

When I watch Free's recording I cry too, with Nagi-Asu too, geez!! Cursed 2D world! I love you!

>> No.21092  

>>21091

Yeah, I think that makes sense.

Which means we now have three parse trees for the title. Do you want to keep it as "After School Time!" or change if to something involving 2D (two out of three parse trees involve 二次元, after all), or try to wrangle some English equivalent, or just punt on it entirely?

>> No.21093  

>>21090

The missing SFX on page 5 is
キーン コーン カーン コーン
"Ding dong ding dong"

On page 18 the one at the bottom (near all the "doki") is probably a gasp or grunt of some nature.
The little marking in the top left panel just seems to be lines for accent, not an SFX.

>>21091
Thanks for pointing that out. I was completely unaware of this phrase. Do you think it is meant to be this "Damned 2D After School!" for the primary reading?

>> No.21097  

>>21090

I think that the text size is good. I did notice a hyphen on 06.png that should be an emdash, though.

>> No.21098  
File: pg9_12_sfx.jpg -(1024673 B, 1350x1324) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1024673

>>21097

Got it.

>>21093

There are also a couple more untranslated sfx on page 9 and 12. I put up a picture here if it makes it easier. The sfx in the blue circle was something I forgot to add in the first two versions, but I added it now.

>> No.21099  

>>21098

The キラ キラ in the upper one is "sparkle" or "shine"

The さっ in the lower one is "dash"

>> No.21101  

>>21093
For the title maybe something like "After School 2D Mischief! (or 2D Shenanigans!)".

>> No.21102  

>>21101

Perhaps "2D Nonsense After School!" ? It just seems to flow better.

>> No.21103  

>>21102

I like it.

>> No.21105  
> Sorry, my... breasts are so tiny...? (I'm not sure a question mark is the best way to punctuate this phrase in English. In the original, the question mark makes Yumi sound entreating [do you forgive how tiny my breasts are?], but as it's rendered here, it makes her sound like she's not sure if she should be apologizing or not. Given the context, it could also be interpreted as being unsure of her line, because she's acting.)

Were we going to change this or leave it as is?

>> No.21106  

>>21105

I agree, remove the '?'. It probably gives a different impression than in the original.

>> No.21107  

>>21106

Got it.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/dt284drdztgqo51/Battle1_inQC_v3.zip

These pages should be in a higher quality than in the previous versions. I've only worked with color pages once before, and I didn't remember how I had the settings when I saved them. But I think I got it now. However, because the pages are in a higher quality, the file sizes got around three times larger. So it might take some time downloading, but it'll be worth it, I hope.

>> No.21108  

>>21107

Everything looks good to me.

>> No.21109  

>>21107
Released.

>> No.21135  

I've translated chapter 2, but I have a question. This chapter is ane moe vs imouto moe. Typically I'd translate to older sister/younger sister, but here The characters are hardcore anime/manga fans, using anime/manga fan jargon - the same characters having this discussion in an English-language setting would likely use "imouto" and "moe", at least to some extent.

So I was thinking about leaving these terms untranslated, at least to some extent (they use 姉 40 times and 妹 30 times in this chapter). Do we have a policy about that? What's your opinion?

>> No.21136  

On one extreme, I could use "ane" and "imouto" every single time they use 姉 and 妹
to refer to character archetypes (I would translate for the few times it actually refers to character relations). This sounds sort of awkward. Another extreme would just be to translate them to older/younger sister every time. This sounds much less awkward, but I think it loses something. And then I could do something in between, leaving it be sometimes and translating it other times, which has the downside of perhaps sounding inconsistent.

>> No.21137  

>>21136
There's no policy. Maybe if you append something to Ane like "Ane-type" or "Ane character". When a line is "...your Ane..." it sounds all right. Changing Ane to Onee-san is changing too much, right?

"There are no anime with Ane characters airing."
"Which is cuter, Ane or Imouto." (together it sounds all right)
"Crawling into your Ane's futon."
"Having your Imouto crawl in."
"Having your Ane wash your hair."
"I can tell you're beginning to understand the virtue of an Ane character."

>> No.21139  

>>21136

The only possibly relevant project-wide guidance I know of is point number 3 of the Translation Guildelines ( http://wiki.yuriproject.net/guidelines ): "Translate as close to original Japanese meaning as possible." This guideline is open to a wide variety of interpretations, and isn't very helpful in this case.

As you and Procyon touched on, the sticky point is that Anglophone fans of anime/manga are far more likely to be familiar with the Japanese word "imouto" than "ane;" "onee-san/chan/sama" is much more widely recognized among Anglophone fans as a term for an older sister, but I agree that substituting one Japanese word for another in this context is a bit odd.

Personally, I would probably settle on casual English words, like "big sister" and "little sister." But considering the potential audience for this translation, I doubt many would be averse to learning a new Japanese word for "older sister." If memory serves, Del Rey (now Kodansha) always had Chamo call Asuna "Ane-san" in their English translation of "Negima," so some there is some precedent for it. Even if you feel the need to leave a note explaining one or both words, I don't think it would ruffle any feathers among this audience. Among manga fans, especially those who are interested enough to look up a niche title like this on the Internet, Japanese tends to be treated as a prestige language, and it's common to let features of it bleed through in translation (as seen in the Del Rey practice of preserving honorifics, and the Yen Press practice of providing not only translations but transliterations of sound effects). I don't think there would be any major objections from this audience if you asked them to learn one or two new words. As with 貧乳 and 巨乳 in the previous chapter, the words are being used as technical jargon, and I think it's defensible to leave them in the original in this context.

You can always try it one way and see how it sounds. If you don't like it, try it the other way and see if you like that better.

>> No.21140  

Just use ane and add a note. Then in 5 years people can scoff at this being unnecessary and lol we're not stupid like they do now at notes about senpai.

>> No.21141  
File: Houkago Nijigenme Chapter 2 Translation.txt -(31132 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Okay, here's the chapter using mainly ane and imouto. "Ane" is never pluralized with an s, but occasionally I pluralize "imoutos", since to me it feels like a more common loanword that could take English grammatical cases. But that can be changed if it sounds awkward.

>> No.21144  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/28766655abpfnqc/Battle2_inQC_v1.zip

I'll probably go back and clean a couple of the sfx, but I just wanted to post what I had so far (which is still kinda complete, but I could've done better on my part).

There were some untranslated floating texts and sfx, so I just left them as is. On page 33, I added the word "have" into the fifth panel. I'm not sure if that changes the meaning of the sentence/translation. I only added it because it made the shaping look so much better. But if it should be taken out, then I'll take it out.

>> No.21145  
File: houkago_ch2_qc1_comments.txt -(1887 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21144

Here are a few comments, mostly on the text and typesetting. I've marked the untranslated sound effects I saw for easy reference.

>> No.21147  
File: houkago nijigenme ch2 qc1 comments (schuyguy).txt -(2900 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21144
>>21145

Okay, here's the SFX and minor corrections. Multiball, I think you're right about "a" vs "the" and the scene boxes, so I added those in too.

>> No.21149  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/mgw87g4f6qz76qw/Battle2_inQC_v2.zip

On page 23, previously, the heart in the second panel was kinda in an awkward position after the text had been translated. So instead of moving the heart to the left and behind the bubble, I just moved the text over to the right. It even matches up more to what page 25 has.

>> No.21151  

>>21149

Everything looks good to me.

>> No.21152  

>>21149
Released.

>> No.21153  

https://www.japan-guide.com/forum/quereadisplay.html?0+54894

>> No.21156  
File: Houkago Nijigenme Chapter 3 Translation.txt -(32980 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 3

>> No.21160  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/wyxgiijownm7zbi/Battle3_inQC_v1.zip

I noticed 3 untranslated sfx/text on pages 44, 48, and 53, which I left untouched in the link.

On page 53, when Ouka says, "You must show me panties, it is my duty!", would it be better if it was "it is your duty"?

>> No.21161  

>>21160
Page 42

Top Bubble
... white angle...
... white angel...

Page 52

Top Center Bubble
You must show me panties, it is my duty!
Panties must be shown, it is my duty!

I had skipped a character on that line, thanks for pointing that out.

>> No.21162  
File: houkago_ch_3_qc_1_comments.txt -(2780 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Mostly typesetting comments, a few on the text.

>> No.21164  
File: sfx.png -(1471958 B, 1350x1557) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1471958

Here is a picture of the untranslated sfx and text.

>> No.21165  

>>21164

Oops, sorry. From top to bottom:

はーっ "sigh"
はしっ "catch"
このくらい? "Like this?"

>> No.21166  
File: sfx_other.png -(1471255 B, 1350x1557) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1471255

>>21165

Then what's this sfx in the blue circle? In your translation, this sfx was translated to "catch". Are they both "catch"?

>> No.21167  

>>21166

Oh, right. I think はしっ is the sound of her quickly reacting, and ぷっ is the sound of it hitting her hand. So I guess
"catch" for はしっ (left)
"smack" for ぷっ (right)

>> No.21168  

>>21167

Gotcha.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/dfngtt7na00f8al/Battle3_inQC_v2.zip

>> No.21169  

>>21168

Looks good to me.

>> No.21175  

>>21168
Page 41
Put simply, if there's unnatural light or fog in anime it's glance-ism, if not, it's open-ism, see? =>
Put simply, when an anime uses light beams and fog, it's no longer glimpse-ism, but open-ism.

>> No.21176  
File: 00041.png -(647520 B, 1406x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
647520

>>21175

>> No.21177  
File: Credits_.jpg -(349312 B, 1350x1920) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
349312

>>21175

Also the updated credits page.

>> No.21179  

Released.

>> No.21184  
File: Houkago Nijigenme Chapter 4 Translation.txt -(35240 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 4.

>> No.21204  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/4ltjsyi18vjmj0a/Battle4_inQC_v1.zip

There are untranslated sfx on pages 58, 65, and 68.

>> No.21205  
File: houkago ch4 qc1 comments (schuyguy).txt -(2170 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21204

Here's the sfx, and couple changes.

>> No.21207  

>>21205

> A vixen borrowing the strength of a tiger...!

Did you want to change this in some way? You wrote in your text file but nothing under it.

>> No.21208  

>>21207

Oh, no, I was considering changing it, but then I decided it was probably fine.

>> No.21209  

>>21208

Okay. I also just noticed another untranslated sfx/text on page 69 in the first panel.

>> No.21210  

>>21209

Oh, I see it. That's not an SFX, it's her saying
"Your hands are-"

>> No.21211  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/b0wbr5dm1378j0m/Battle4_inQC_v2.zip

>> No.21213  

>>21211

Everything looks fine to me.

>> No.21214  
File: houkago_ch_4_qc_2_comments.txt -(1370 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

A couple changes I think we ought to make before release plus a few nitpicks.

>> No.21216  

>>21214

http://www.thepunctuationguide.com/quotation-marks.html#adjacentpunctuation

>Unless they are part of the original quotation, all marks other than commas or periods are placed outside the quotation marks.

The exclamation mark is part of Yumi's own statement, not part of the statement she is quoting, so it goes outside the quotation marks.

>> No.21217  

>>21216

Well, whaddaya know. You learn something new every day.

> Though not necessarily logical [...]
>> No.21218  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/0zl9zcfz1b955ih/Battle4_inQC_v3.zip

>> No.21219  

>>21218

Besides this one thing that escaped me earlier, I think we're good:

00071.png:

Still, I have no choice to accept the loss after they went so far... -> Still, I have no choice but to accept the loss after they went so far... (add "but")

>> No.21220  
File: 00071.png -(581741 B, 1406x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
581741

>>21219

>> No.21221  

>>21220

Looks good.

>> No.21222  

>>21218
>>21220
Released.

>> No.21252  
File: Houkago Nijigenme Chapter 5 Translation.txt -(27204 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's the translation for chapter 5.

>> No.21260  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/228w4j0liqaqjqt/Battle5_inQC_v1.zip

As I was cleaning the pages, I didn't know how to feel about the new girl, who looks like a black-haired Aimi. But now knowing she's a masochist makes it quite hilarious.

>> No.21261  

>>21260

When Yumi first told Wakana to keep quiet about it, I had assumed the secret would be that they're dating. But of course not! Instead she's a masochist, a lot more fitting for this manga. I laughed a lot at that.

There are some SFX missing from the page 79, top left panel (ズキ is "sting" or "throb", the sound of pain). Everything else looks good.

>> No.21262  
File: 00079.png -(658753 B, 1406x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
658753

>>21261

I like sting better. Throb makes me think of someone falling in love or something like that.

Redrawing the bottom right part was a bit of a pain. I had no idea what I was suppose to be looking at. At first, I thought it was Ouka's arm sticking out but after staring for a while, I instead concluded that it was her other pigtail. Hopefully, that looks believable. But I have no idea what the two sets of lines underneath the "キ" are suppose to be, so I just left those.

>> No.21266  
File: houkago_ch_5_qc_3_comments.txt -(2445 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21260

Mostly punctuation and typesetting, with a few changes to the text and an open question about one word in particular.

>> No.21274  

>>21266

I was going between "neophyte" and "novice" as terms for members of a religious order who have not yet taken their vows, not in the common meaning of someone new to a calling. It'd be a term of politeness, since in reality she's never going to take any vows and is just helping out.

If there was no provided definition, I'd just go with "assistant". But since the word itself is defined immediately after it's used, the exact definition isn't as important as the feel of the word - it has to be something that is unusual enough to be defined, either because it's used in a different context than normal or between it's somewhat obscure in English as well.

I'm not certain, but my feel from its other uses is that 助勤 historically probably meant something closer to permanent support, and instead changed to mean a part-time assistant as the situation changed. That's why I thought neophyte or novice would work - the conflict between its general meaning and its meaning in religious orders requires that it be defined, plus it has the feeling of being used by courtesy and tradition for a position that isn't really what it was originally meant to describe.

Anyways, those were just my thoughts. From your suggestions, I think "servitor" or "sexton" would work well also.

>> No.21275  

>>21274

Do you have a favorite? Do you want to just stick with "neophyte?"

>> No.21280  

Yeah, I guess neophyte would be my preference. Though it's not a big issue either way.

>> No.21281  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/71bhj8rgkctvx3p/Battle5_inQC_v2.zip

>> No.21282  

>>21281

085.png:

In the lower left, there's a line over Wakana's head left over from an erased じーっ, but it hasn't been replaced with the "stare" that's listed in the translation.

Besides that, I think we're good.

>> No.21283  
File: 00085.png -(755548 B, 1406x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
755548

>>21282

>> No.21284  

>>21283

Do you think it would be better to do "sta-re"? That way, the vowel is being extended.

>> No.21286  
File: 00085.2.png -(755569 B, 1406x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
755569

>>21284

Ah, you're right. That does look better.

>> No.21288  

>>21281
>>21286
Released.

>> No.21293  

So in chapter 6, there's this exchange:

愛実さんの胸 大きいですね
Aimi-san, your breasts are really big.
そ そんなに 見られると 恥ずかしいよ...
D-don't stare at me like that, it's embarrassing...
もしかして 愛実また 大きくなった?
Aimi, have they gotten even bigger?

>ちょっと 触っていい? きっと大きくなる ご利益が...
>Can I touch them a bit? ????

ちょ ちょっと だけなら...
J-just a little...

In the highlighted line, I'm not sure what きっと大きくなるご利益が... is supposed to mean.

>> No.21294  

>>21293
ご利益が is divine grace (getting/having/increasing it). So she's saying that touching her boobs will make them more likely to be graced to become bigger (i.e. she's sure it'll act like a prayer/ritual to make her boobs bigger).

>> No.21295  

>>21294

So is Yumi saying, "let me touch your boobs, so that my own will become bigger", or "let me touch your boobs so that they (yours) will become even bigger"?

>> No.21296  

>>21295

After some searching, I guess it's probably the former. The same phrase is used to describe breast-related religious statues and charms that some people rub/pray to in the hopes of growing larger, apparently.

>> No.21297  

>>21296
So the latter, Aimi's will become bigger because she's getting rubbed.

>> No.21299  

>>21297

Searching for 大きくなるご利益 brings up some information about shrines and statues where women go to rub the breasts as a kind of prayer that their own breasts will grow bigger (I think they're more presented as places to pray for safe childbirth, raising a healthy baby, and things related to breastfeeding/maternity, but it seems that some women pray for larger breasts). Having seen that, that's what I think Yumi means - it seems more in fitting with her character. Her statement is unfinished an ambiguous, so could that be it instead?

>> No.21300  

>>21299
I see, yeah, you're right. That also makes sense in the way that she did say Aimi's are already large, but here she doesn't say something like "it'll make them EVEN larger". So then she must be talking about her own boobs.

>> No.21303  
File: Houkago Nijigenme Chapter 6 Translation.txt -(27964 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 6

>> No.21306  
File: 00094_sfx.png -(1312079 B, 1406x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1312079

>>21303

There's an untranslated sfx on page 94. I posted it here for convenience.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/jxy9rkrjfl7vlxz/Battle6_inQC_v1.zip

>> No.21307  
File: houkago_ch_6_qc_1_comments.txt -(1136 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21306

A couple comments on typesetting, and one awkward phrase.

>> No.21308  

>>21306

ぐっ "clench" or something similar should work.

>>21307

You're right, that change in wording makes more sense.

On Page 102, the top right panel has that べー SFX, which is the sound of her sticking her tongue out in a mocking way.... I don't really know how to translate that. "stick" or "mock" or "taunt" or something, maybe.

>> No.21309  

>>21308

For べーっ, I think "bleh" could work. You might also consider the classic English-language comic strip raspberry, "thpptb."

>> No.21310  

>>21308
>>21309

I chose bleh.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/9kcz62cy8361nlg/Battle6_inQC_v2.zip

>> No.21311  

>>21310

I'm good with this.

>> No.21312  

>>21310
Released.

>> No.21318  
File: Houkago Nijigenme Chapter 7 Translation.txt -(24310 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 7.

>> No.21320  

>>21318

http://www.mediafire.com/file/qbov1ccobg70h11/Battle7_inQC_v1.zip

Ouka was really great in this chapter.

>> No.21322  

>>21320
Page 117

Bottom Left Panel
Something's miss-
Something's amiss-

Page 120

Middle Right Panel
"I'll teach syou myself!"?
"I'll teach you myself!"?

Page 124

Bottom Left Panel
Maybe the "turn" could have the "r" and "n" moved a bit further apart, so it doesn't look like an "m"?

Yeah, I liked the bit with her pouting.

>> No.21323  

>>21320

00115.png:

But we came all this way, I wanted to play together. => But we came all this way. I wanted to play together. (comma to period)

00117.png:

T-The ball... (It looks like 3つ got misread as ろつ. The joke, of course, being that Aimi's breasts are large enough thatthere might as well be three.)

00126.png:

Get ready for to our debate! -> Get ready for our debate! (Delete "to")

>> No.21324  

>>21323

>It looks like 3つ got misread as ろつ

Oh wow. I don't know how I missed that.
Maybe:
"Th-three balls-", "Th-three of them-", or "Th-there are three-"

>> No.21325  
File: 00117.png -(611708 B, 1406x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
611708

>>21322
>>21323
>>21324

http://www.mediafire.com/file/g1rjepd98mg9gle/Battle7_inQC_v2.zip

> "Th-three balls-", "Th-three of them-", or "Th-there are three-"

I actually like the last one the best, but that one looked pretty bad with the shaping because I had to put each word on a different line. So I just chose the first option.

>> No.21328  

>>21325

Everything looks good.

>> No.21330  

>>21325
Page 116
The pinch SFX should be tug.

>> No.21333  
File: 00116_tug.png -(729532 B, 1406x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
729532

>>21330

>> No.21334  
File: Credits_ch7.jpg -(350885 B, 1350x1920) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
350885

>>21330

>> No.21335  

>>21325
Released.

>> No.21336  
File: Houkago Nijigenme Chapter 8 Translation.txt -(15306 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 8. Only 1 more chapter after this.

>> No.21337  

>>21336

http://www.mediafire.com/file/5sbn0rbaigoy07r/Battle8_inQC_v1.zip?ssl=1

You finished fast. Good thing I had started cleaning early. There's an untranslated sfx on page 138, bottom right corner.

I love Wakana's little masochist comments.

>> No.21338  

>>21337

00133.png:

Lying my head on your soft thighs, and maybe if you stroked my hair... That sould be the height of relaxation! (move up, maybe ~2-3px? Watch the lower margin)

00137.png:

messed up (Maybe enlarge this a bit? It probably doesn't matter too much, but the pattern on the screen tone doesn't quite come through at its current size.)

00138.png:

untranslated ぐ in lower-right

I could ask nothing better. -> I could ask for nothing better. (add "for")

>> No.21339  

>>21338

Page 138, ぐー "clench"

I like that Aoi has Aimi on her arm in the spread, and Ouka is lying in Aoi's lap.

>> No.21340  

>>21338
>>21339

https://www.mediafire.com/file/8ambhb9k04u836t/Battle8_inQC_v2.zip?ssl=1

Yeah, the two page spread is nice, but it looks like Ouka isn't in the most comfortable position, with her head propped up and all.

>> No.21341  

>>21340

Everything looks good.

I was just thinking it's nice that their lap-pillow/arm-pillow debate was reflected in their sleeping positions. Ouka does look incredibly uncomfortable.

>> No.21342  

>>21340
Released.

>> No.21343  
File: Houkago Nijigenme Plus.txt -(36130 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Last chapter and volume extra



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